Graduation? Supposingly...

Its Friday, 9/9/2011 now, officially..

few years back.. if i do not have the thoughts of giving up on my studies i'll be graduating by this weekend now.. throwing hats.. supposingly~

yeah i screwed up.. it was stupid because i did it on purpose. i wasn't right in the head at that time.. so yeah.. =/

well doesn't everyone have that screwing up moments in their life?

(here i am with my defensive pattern)

so here i am now.. i'll be lying if i said i am ok now.

i am not ok now coz ..

most of my friends were asking if i will be there on their graduation this weekend. to be honest i wanted to go.. i am trully happy for them really. i want to take pictures with them, throw hats with them. laugh. be with everyone for the last time before we go seperate ways..

the problem is, i am.. not.. graduating.. along.. with... them...

i told mom i wanted to go.. and i said i'll be fine.

after hearing me, she got mad and scolded me.. and then

she asked me.. "what if u're there.. and suddenly u're not fine at all?"

yeah.. what if i am there.. and i found out that i am completely not fine at all?

on second thoughts..

i still have finals coming up.. this is my final moment to make sure everything goes well so i can graduate..

on another thoughts.. if i go for their graduation this time.. when the time comes, will they do the same for me in return? i doubt it..

by that time, i doubt they've probably forgotten about me already..

well this feeling feels like deja vu, i remembered the me 11 years back.

at that time it was swimming competition.. i wanted to join. but Cikgu Ali didn't register for me for the reason, SKCC did not join any swimming competition for years ever since Ruyi sister left the school.. something like that. (more like he's just too lazy to help me register).

on that competition day i was crying alot, feeling sad and angry.. for i've trained so hard for nothing.. what's more my friends laughed at me.. saying..

"what is this? You? swimming competition? who do you think you are? you're so fat. i doubt when you jumped into the water, the pool dries up.. ha ha ha ha ha.. do you think anyone can just joined a swimming competition JUST like that?! ceh!"

anyway the following years i joined by myself without that shitty teacher's help.. and got my ways towards MSSM lol.

Therefore, as a conclusion,

the moral of the whole story.. (althought it might be irrelavant.. or totally irrelevant~)

so what if i've im late by one semester?

even the story of the race between the rabbit and the tortoise proves that its ok to be slow.. we just need to move at our own pace..

:)

what if i've made the wrong decision at that time? the point now is that i've been given a second chance.. i have another chance to make this right don't i?

so, as long as i graduate in the end.. is still good eh? therefore, its still not my worst yet. it is not the end of YEO LI SA YET! :D

to my friends,

congratulations to all who've already made it.

i'm very proud of u guys.

but i can't join you yet..

because, i have more important things to do..

i'll catch up with u guys.. so watch me ;P