what is family?

i've been holding up all these thoughts to myself. but i can't keep it to myself anymore.. its so painful to keep seeing my dad getting all these mean attack and harsh "what you should do" and "what not" violating his obedient characteristic. that's just pure mean. really..

he was so grateful.. when u guys gave him a helping hand. during hard times. when u guys helped him, he was so touched and grateful he cried so much. :'( yet he felt so guilty troubling everyone.. he kept telling me "Lisa we need to be grateful.. next time if you manage to come out to the society successfully, u need to thank these ppl, repay them. don't be like me.. eat until so big still need to rely on others," u know.. he kept blame himself, saying he's useless.. making us suffer so much and trouble everyone :'( if you know my dad, u know this isn't true. he's a very nice, obedient, humble, kind, very patient, bloody hardworking guy yet all he get is shit and rubbish.

you know,

today i finally realized something.. i see it and i hear it with my own eyes and ears and i want to say this..

as a family.. u guys are so mean. we have our own rights on our own things. how dare you said such thing to my dad..

"we help you so much yet you are enjoying your life there.. don't know how to appreciate, don't know how to think"

bloody hell.. why do you sound like we're looting you? do you think WE WANT THESE?!! do you think my DAD FEELS GOOD RECEIVING THOSE?! he kept blaming himself! did i mention my dad has a depression and suicidal history? he's improving yet another hit of flood comes and he loss another time.. he's trying his best here.. WE are trying our best here.. struggling with out might to stand up again.. :'( how could you say such mean things? :'( to him.. :'( its not fair you know.. :''(

don't you come compare us with other people.. them are them.. we are ourself.. our abilities and resillence abilities are different. yes he can do it, why can't i? but its still different! a mental retarded person and a normal human.. yes they are both human.. are they the same? no. why are they different? their individual abilities. things we can do and things they can do.. sometimes they can do it even better, even our IQs are different. ( im just giving an example and this is really no time for me and i've never thought of discriminating anyone here.. )

if you're going to help us with some kind of motive behind.. then dont! that's low. u can do so much better than that. if you doesn't feel like helping.. then dont! doing do it half heartedly and expect something in return.. what's more, u threaten us with your almighty help that u've provide us to get things in return. that's wrong.. i feel so dissapointed, and sad after hearing such thing happened. what's more i've always look up to you all and think of you guys highly.. i feel sorry for my dad.. really. he's always such a good kid and a great dad :'( just that shit always happens to him. :'(

really now.. are u really that good? that u could say such things?

really.. now.. aren't we a family? :'(

stop this please.. :'(